It seems like once a month I have so much that I want to journal about on this bloggity blog & don't have time to do it, thus, the ramblings post. So here are my thoughts in bullet points.
- I love 100 calorie packs. I mean LOVE them. I need things in small packages. Because it tells me when to stop & I need that b/c seriously I could eat an entire bag of chips in one sitting. 100 calorie packs have become my friend. I usually keep some with me at all times so that if I'm out & about & tempted to eat that chocolate fudge caramel cheesecake with fudge & whipped cream I don't fall to it anymore. Now I just eat my 100 calorie pack & all is good. At the moment I'm loving the Hostess chocolate cupcakes (click on the link to get a coupon :). 3 mini cupcakes like the ones you used to beg your Mom to buy at the grocery store. So yummy!! And they have 5 grams of fiber, so they keep you regular. What more can you ask for?
- I can't remember a single other thing I wanted to write about b/c I can't stop thinking about cupcakes. What is wrong with me??
- (5 minutes later) Ok, here is something that Matt & I are praying through & really struggling with. Sorry this is on a totally different note from cupcakes....that's what happens when you bullet point your life. Anyways....we are really struggling with choosing the gender of our adopted child. I desire another daughter so deeply I can't even really put it into words. I want Ava to have a sister & I want to be the Mom of daughters. We're also hoping to adopt from Africa next & we'd love to get 1 or 2 little boys b/c those of you that have known me for any amount of time know that I have wanted little black boys pretty much since I was born. So is it wrong to pick the gender of your adopted child? Are you putting God in a box or trying to "control" things in your life? Or is it a blessing that comes with adoption? I guess it just boils down to this: when do you walk forward with the desires of your heart and when are you trying to play God? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.....we have to make our decision in the next few days. God sure is stretching my trust in Him through adoption!!!
- We watched the documentary Invisible Children the other night with our students. If you haven't watched it yet, go order it right now. It will change you. It will change the way you think, act and love. But here's the scary thing. Now that I've seen it I have to DO something. I can't sit in blissful ignorance anymore. I will be judged by my response to the truth that I have witnessed. I don't want to waste my life. I want to help orphans. After the movie I seriously asked God if we could adopt 12 kids. I'm not kidding or exagerating. I want to help. I need to help. We are praying about how we can use our lives to help the hurting in this world.
- That leads me to this thought. If I had watched Invisible Children when I was in High School, I'm pretty certain that I would be a missionary in Africa now. I pray that one day our family is in Africa. Even if it's short term. I want to go there. I want to adopt children from there. My soul is linked to that continent. God please take us there someday.
- I just realized that I have used "I" a lot in this post. I want, I need, I feel, I will, I would. I, I, I. I want my life to be characterized by God. God. God. Father...help me get there.
- I love reading fiction books. They are such an escape for me. I feel like I'm a world traveler when I read. Yesterday Matt & I finally got library cards & I felt like I was getting a passport or something. I know that I sound so cheesy right now & like I could be on one of those "I Care....Read a Book" commericals, but I don't care if you're laughing at me right now. I love reading. I love how it takes me into other people's worlds. I do not enjoy non-fiction. I read it b/c I know it makes me think & it makes me smarter. I love that God made humans to be creative and imaginative. Right now I'm reading too many books. Here they are: Unveiled by Francine Rivers, Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Paterson, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (I always try to be reading snippets from that or a Jane Austen book, b/c they make me happy!), and my 2 non-fiction books at the time are Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper and Confessions from an Honest Wife by Sarah Zacharias Davis.
- We have been blessed by such amazing friends. They have touched my heart so much lately. You know who you are....I love all of you so much.
- My friend Aprile is in Africa right now. I am jealous. Pray for her!
- I am still addicted to diet dr. pepper.
- Ava turns 15 months tomorrow.
- I think that's all.....for now at least :)
3 comments:
I'm so glad you were affected by the invisible children video. I've always wanted to go to Africa and this just reaffirms it. Sorry I said absolutely nothing afterward. I was kind of numbed by the whole thing. Let's keep eachother accountable to "doing" something! As for the adoption thing, Ben and I will probably specify gender on ours- only b/c they are the most unwated. I'm kind of on the fence on this one- does the country have more girls than boys to adopt? Which get adopted more often? These answers would help me decide. Who is the most unwanted? Or, if you are so confused...maybe you should just leave it to God.love you
Okay about gender. We have been where you are in this decision and I will tell you not only is this one of the many hard decisions that comes along with adoption, it is also one that is completely personal.
My opinion is that - ONLY my opinion. We have always said that we would not specify a gender, that we would leave it up to God and go with that. I mean really God does know what is best for us and what our heart desires and what his will is for our family too.
On our adoption we left it completely open. In the depths of my heart I wanted a boy. I wanted C to have a baby brother. I wanted them to be best buddies. I had all boys clothes and since they were going to be so close I thought the same sex would work best for me!!! Ha Ha!
Here is where I contradict myself though. I have alway said that we would not specify gender and that we would be open to whatever God has for us. BUT I now have two boys. If we adopted or had a bio child again and it was a boy .... I would think very hard about requesting a girl for baby #4!!!!!!
So, like I said it is a personal decision. Pray about it ... seek God and then go with where your heart leads you and don't look back.
Love you girl and know you will make the best deicsions on this one!
If you think this is hard .....The hard decisions come when they ask you about physical problems, drug problems, mental illness, health concerns, AIDS, Hep B, etc. ...... What all are you open to. Those were SO HARD for us!
I love reading your blog...you are so amazingly open. Is it wrong of me to ask for an update on your mom?
Ok...on to another note...I am currently reading Lois Lowry "Gathering Blue". Finished "The Silent Boy" also Lois Lowry...about to start (after I finish this current one) "The Five Peppers and How They Grew"...and Have recently read "So B. It" by Sarah Weeks...which is a MUST read...all of these are considered adolescent...incredible reads though...OHOHOHOH: "The Giver" by Lois Lowry is AMAZING!!!!! :)
Ok...that is all I've got for now..:0) Love you girl!! Ava is GORGEOUS!!!! JUST GORGEOUS!!!
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