Dear Bella,
I just wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time. I love you more every day with this love that is just unexplainable, except to say that it comes straight from God. You are mine in every way already. You have occupied our hearts. You have occupied our home with all the little reminders we have out about you. You are in our dialogues. You are in my dreams. That's where I see you the most. You are still faceless, but I know that it's you because when I see you my heart does flips! Sometimes I lay awake thinking about you and I almost feel like you're haunting me. I know that's not the right word, but I can't think of a better way to put it. I wonder if you're born yet. I wonder if you're still in your birthmommy's tummy. Is she a teenage girl? I read yesterday that almost 30% of pregnancies in El Salvador are with girls under 19. I wish I could just hug your birthmom & tell her that everything is going to be ok. I wonder if you have not even been conceived yet. If you've entered our world, where are you living? Are you lonely? Are you cold? Hungry? Does anyone kiss you goodnight? I wish that I could meet all of your needs. It kills me to not be with you right now. Every night, Daddy and I pray for you with Ava. We pray that God puts 10,000 angels around you. We pray that God holds you so close in the palm of His hand. We pray that He sings over you, wherever you are, as you sleep. We pray that He is building HOPE into your tiny little heart. Hope for a Savior who will love you above all else. Hope for a family that you can call your own. Hope for a future. You grow more in my heart every day--just like a baby would grow in my belly. I am so proud to be your Mom! Ava is learning to say your name, although it usually comes out more like "Bubba". But that's ok--we know what she means. Everytime she sees a heart she says "Bubba" because we're teaching her that that's where you are--in our hearts. She has a shirt with hearts all over it & she always wears it so proudly--it's like she knows it's Bella's shirt. We're on our way, baby girl, so hold on, ok? We will be done with our paperwork tomorrow. What joy I have in my heart as I write those words. It's taken us so much longer than we had hoped, but tomorrow, we will be done. We're driving to Austin to get our final document and to begin our apostilling process. In the next 2 weeks we will hopefully be submitting our dossier. And then we will just have to wait, to hope, to work and prepare for your homecoming. And as soon as God sees fit--when you're ready, and we're ready--we'll be coming for you. So don't lose hope. We're on our way as fast as we can! But for now, just know that we love you completely. You are ours. You belong, my dear, sweet, Bella!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving (to those of you who are still awake!!)
I was hoping to write this post much sooner today, but things got busy with family & here it is almost 11:00 & I'm about to drop from my turkey comma. I just wanted to share some things that make my heart overflow with thankfulness today:
1. My growing relationship with Jesus. I've had a very stagnant couple of years (my fault of course) and I feel like this year, in the midst of so much pain, God is quietly & slowly drawing me back to His heart. I am excited about His Word again. I am excited that He is teaching me how to really, actually walk in the Spirit every day. I'm thankful for His compassions that never fail & are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!
2. I'm thankful for my Matt. We just fit each other so perfectly. I'm realizing that even on the very worst & most difficult days, he is God's sweetest gift to me. I love him so much.
3. I'm thankful for my Ava. I just can't even explain what it's like to look into the eyes of your daughter. It is beautiful and scary & breathtaking all at the same time. She is the joy of my days & I absolutely love her more every day.
4. I'm thankful for a God who heals. I can't even tell you the change in my Mom since my last visit. She's definitely not back to normal & she is still dealing with major problems in her hands & feet, but WOW! She is a different person. Her joy, energy & spirit have been changed 180 degrees. I'm thankful that we got to get pedicures & eat lunch out at a restaurant the other day. I will NEVER forget that day!
5. I'm thankful for my family. They love, support, help & encourage me so much. I have parents who love each other & a sister who is my best friend. I know how rare this is & I don't take it for granted.
6. I'm thankful that God has opened my heart & poured love into it for a little orphan girl named Bella. My love for her grows more every day. I am consumed with her & with getting her home. I'm thankful for her birth family & the amazing sacrifice they are making out of love for their daughter. I'm thankful that God has provided $12,000 in adoption money in the last 11 months. Can you even believe that??? $12,000!! He is the God who provides! Only $4,000 more to go! I'm thankful for my sister who has sacrificed so much time, money and skin on her fingers to make us blankets for Bella. Because of her, we have made almost $2600 for Bella. Thank you Emily! (ps...they make great Christmas gifts :) Go check them out at HERE.
7. I'm thankful that God is awakening in me such a heart for the nations. He has widened my view of the world & I cannot wait to see where that takes us!
8. I'm thankful for the chiropractor who has been treating me for free for almost 3 months now. I am a new person & my health has improved dramatically. I will never be able to thank or repay him, so I'm praying that God pours out abundant blessings on him & his family.
9. I'm thankful that God is changing our view of money. He is calling us to live debt free. This is not easy, but I'm so grateful that He is convicting us about our stewardship of the finances He has entrusted to us.
10. I'm thankful for how hard Matt works so that I can stay home with Ava. I know that sometimes it doesn't seem that I am grateful, but I know that this is the greatest gift & his way of showing me love. Thanks for working so hard for our family, Matt!
11. And last, but most definitely not least, I am so thankful for my friends. God has placed the most beautiful, unique and godly women in my life. They challenge me, pray for me, let me be me and love me. I could not have made it through this last year if they had not been walking in my life. So to those friends--I love you!
I hope that your Thanksgiving has been sweet! I send my love!
I was hoping to write this post much sooner today, but things got busy with family & here it is almost 11:00 & I'm about to drop from my turkey comma. I just wanted to share some things that make my heart overflow with thankfulness today:
1. My growing relationship with Jesus. I've had a very stagnant couple of years (my fault of course) and I feel like this year, in the midst of so much pain, God is quietly & slowly drawing me back to His heart. I am excited about His Word again. I am excited that He is teaching me how to really, actually walk in the Spirit every day. I'm thankful for His compassions that never fail & are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!
2. I'm thankful for my Matt. We just fit each other so perfectly. I'm realizing that even on the very worst & most difficult days, he is God's sweetest gift to me. I love him so much.
3. I'm thankful for my Ava. I just can't even explain what it's like to look into the eyes of your daughter. It is beautiful and scary & breathtaking all at the same time. She is the joy of my days & I absolutely love her more every day.
4. I'm thankful for a God who heals. I can't even tell you the change in my Mom since my last visit. She's definitely not back to normal & she is still dealing with major problems in her hands & feet, but WOW! She is a different person. Her joy, energy & spirit have been changed 180 degrees. I'm thankful that we got to get pedicures & eat lunch out at a restaurant the other day. I will NEVER forget that day!
5. I'm thankful for my family. They love, support, help & encourage me so much. I have parents who love each other & a sister who is my best friend. I know how rare this is & I don't take it for granted.
6. I'm thankful that God has opened my heart & poured love into it for a little orphan girl named Bella. My love for her grows more every day. I am consumed with her & with getting her home. I'm thankful for her birth family & the amazing sacrifice they are making out of love for their daughter. I'm thankful that God has provided $12,000 in adoption money in the last 11 months. Can you even believe that??? $12,000!! He is the God who provides! Only $4,000 more to go! I'm thankful for my sister who has sacrificed so much time, money and skin on her fingers to make us blankets for Bella. Because of her, we have made almost $2600 for Bella. Thank you Emily! (ps...they make great Christmas gifts :) Go check them out at HERE.
7. I'm thankful that God is awakening in me such a heart for the nations. He has widened my view of the world & I cannot wait to see where that takes us!
8. I'm thankful for the chiropractor who has been treating me for free for almost 3 months now. I am a new person & my health has improved dramatically. I will never be able to thank or repay him, so I'm praying that God pours out abundant blessings on him & his family.
9. I'm thankful that God is changing our view of money. He is calling us to live debt free. This is not easy, but I'm so grateful that He is convicting us about our stewardship of the finances He has entrusted to us.
10. I'm thankful for how hard Matt works so that I can stay home with Ava. I know that sometimes it doesn't seem that I am grateful, but I know that this is the greatest gift & his way of showing me love. Thanks for working so hard for our family, Matt!
11. And last, but most definitely not least, I am so thankful for my friends. God has placed the most beautiful, unique and godly women in my life. They challenge me, pray for me, let me be me and love me. I could not have made it through this last year if they had not been walking in my life. So to those friends--I love you!
I hope that your Thanksgiving has been sweet! I send my love!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Bedhead
I have so much to say, and not much time to say it right now, so stay tuned next week for a good long post. We're headed to FL on Monday to spend Thanksgiving with my family. For now, here are some pictures of Ava's crazy bedhead after her nap the other day. She usually wakes up so happy & cheerful--I have no idea where she got that! Just ignore the mismatched clothes :) I have a super cute video of this that I've been trying to post all day & can't seem to get it to work. Anyways, here are the pictures for now....stay tuned for more!
I have so much to say, and not much time to say it right now, so stay tuned next week for a good long post. We're headed to FL on Monday to spend Thanksgiving with my family. For now, here are some pictures of Ava's crazy bedhead after her nap the other day. She usually wakes up so happy & cheerful--I have no idea where she got that! Just ignore the mismatched clothes :) I have a super cute video of this that I've been trying to post all day & can't seem to get it to work. Anyways, here are the pictures for now....stay tuned for more!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Halloween 2007
I know I'm a little late on this one, but better late than never I suppose! There are a ton of pictures, so I apologize--the Grandma's & Auntie have been dying to see these. If you don't want to sit through the whole slide show you can just click on "view all images". So here they are!!
I know I'm a little late on this one, but better late than never I suppose! There are a ton of pictures, so I apologize--the Grandma's & Auntie have been dying to see these. If you don't want to sit through the whole slide show you can just click on "view all images". So here they are!!
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