Hey friends. It's been so long since the last time I wrote & I feel like there's way too much to write & way too little time to write it, so here's my attempt to empty my brain of the last few weeks.
- Matt went to the doctor to get our letter for our adoption agency & I'm picking it up tomorrow. I so desperately want to be accepted into the El Salvador program & am hoping that we can get the letter to A.W. & get approved & get moving. I'd love to be moving forward on our adoption before Christmas.
- I wanted to write a list of things I'm thankful for for Thanksgiving, but ran out of time. There is so much that I am thankful for this year. I praise God for my husband & my Ava. And 10,000 other things.
- Ava turned 9 months old on Sunday. I didn't take one picture. Hopefully I'll get some taken this weekend & write the date as Sunday, November 26th & 10 years from now no one will remember that I was a putz mom & didn't take pictures on her month-day.
- Speaking of....Ava has now been out of the womb as long as she was in the womb. Why did the in the womb part seem so much longer?
- I saw snow in Tennessee over Thanksgiving.
- My Mom had another biopsy today for a lump in her breast. I reacted much differently than I have in the past when this has happened. For the first time I felt very out of control & very scared. I cried & I prayed. Now we have to wait a whole week to find out if the lump was malignant or not. I don't know if a week has ever felt so long. Mom--I love you.
- Matt is the hardest working man I know & sometimes I hate that I resent him for that. He is doing such an unbelievably great job with the students. I am so proud of him. But sometimes I miss the days when he wasn't working at Sagemont. I saw much more of him. God, please help me to be Matt's helpmate during these stressful weeks.
- There has been a lot of death around me lately. A friend's beloved Grampy. My next door neighbor's unborn child. A student's dad who committed suicide. I think when death seems a little closer it makes me frustrated that I even think like I did in the above point. Why don't I overlook more things with Matt? Why am I so hard on him. Why don't I just love & appreciate the time I do have with him more. It's funny how I've been married for almost 5 years & still feel like such an inadequate wife.
- I've been painting my kitchen a gold color. Some minutes I love it & some minutes I hate it. I guess that's the woman in me coming out.
- I wish I could pay somebody to finish painting my kitchen.
- We are hosting like 100 people at our house next Friday for a progressive Christmas party. It makes me want to puke just thinking about it. I HATE hosting people at my house. There is nothing at all that makes me more nervous than having people over. It literally makes me sick to my stomach.
- We are painting our kitchen b/c I'm freaked out about having people over to our house.
- I have another Christmas party on Monday night & it is formal dress. What the heck does that mean?
- My Mom is making Ava a stocking for Christmas & I can't wait to see it!!
- We still haven't decorated our house for Christmas. I've never been so late in getting to it. I don't even know where to buy trees around here.
- I have watched Elf 7 times in the past 2 weeks.
- Ava has not started crawling yet. When I put her on her belly, she buries her face in the rug & acts bored & aggravated.
- But...she has said her first word!! (kind of!) Whenever our cat comes in the room she goes: "keeeeyyyy!!!" (AKA: kitty) It is SO CUTE! And I love that that's her first word b/c it was mine too.
- I have become addicted to diet dr. pepper.
- I have really been struggling with having a quiet time lately. I feel so out of the Word. And when I get like that it seems very hard to get back in to it. So please pray for my time with God over the next few weeks.
- I can't wait to see The Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith and The Nativity Story. And I can't wait to get a babysitter to go see those movies.
- I'm going home for Christmas & I am unbelievably happy about that. I miss my family like crazy.
- I lost 11 pounds. And then I gained 3. I then I lost 2. So I think I've lost 10 pounds. I have 20 more to go to win our family weight loss challenge. Deadline: 2-26-07--Ava's 1st b-day.
- I think that's it.
1 comment:
Rachel...I love your honesty. It's so awesome that you are so open about your feelings and insecurities. I've come to love that about people...it means you trust. So many people are so closed off and it's hard to break through. I have a hard time with death too. My grandfather passed away this year and it hurt like crazy. It's made me much more sentimental about time with my grandmother. I think it's been the hardest thing about growing up...everyone else grows up too. On a lighter note...I have seen Elf a few times lately myself. In fact, I'm watching it right now on USA:) Have a great Christmas!! I'm still praying for your mom.
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